A poem for 2024 & further reflections
happy new year my loves
Hello loves.
At the end of every year (usually on NYE) I try to write out an account of my year. It’s always incomplete, because my memory is faulty and I usually have to look through my camera roll to remember what happened in each month. I also write a yearly poem. Really it’s more of a poem-ish list. I’ve been doing this since 2018. It’s a very fragmented, imperfect way to archive a year, but one that’s approachable and somehow allows me to pluck out the most important or memorable parts.
Below is my poem for 2024. Or, (as you might have already seen) watch it in video form to hear me reading it aloud.
In 2024 I moved forward even while standing still I put more words and work into the world I sent poems to strangers and wrote some that no one will ever read I married the love of my life in a white silk set I sewed myself Cried reading my vows and held a bouquet of chocolate cosmos, like I always swore I would if I ever got married again I flew on planes and drove to different states Swam in rivers on opposite coasts Got a forget-me-not tattoo on my right wrist I hugged my friends, was held and seen from afar and close up Even when I tried to hide I watched the sun move behind the moon Kissed R in totality I drank a perfect martini on Lisbon’s cobblestone streets I cried a lot driving home, laying on the floor of my studio into R’s chest I wished, as always for a better world I read 35 books and watched too much TV I lost people and found people, talked about art on the internet and in real life I started a project I’ve wanted to for years, and it grew and grew and I swung wildly between being so proud and so full of anxiety and fear, felt the sting from the growing pains of the life I always wanted for myself
There’s so much more I could write about this year—it’s been a wild one. Truthfully, I’m still reeling from the last few months of work and growth. December was an exceptionally challenging month full of long hours and lots of tears. November was rough too. As was October, and September. The fall months were brutal on my mental health, and I’m looking forward to settling into winter and hopefully building some routines and processes that will simplify my day-to-day. And also, hiring some support.
Anyways! Today is also the one year anniversary of starting this Substack! I’m pretty proud of some of the things I’ve written here. But mostly, I’m excited to write more and share more in 2025. I have some more resolutions and goals (I actually love New Years Resolutions) but that’s a post for later.
Xo,
B
Good morning. Loved reading this post. A bit of rawness while still staying a little hidden. You should certainly be proud of the year you had, but yep, sometimes less is more. Cheering you on as you figure out how to balance it all. XOJO
Gorgeous. Happy new year!