An unofficial guide to getting back into the swing of things:
Open up an empty document on your computer and watch the cursor blink. Write some justifications for your absence, then delete them.
Close the empty document and open the 4,569 word essay you’ve been trying to edit to a more manageable size. Re-read the essay and decide you actually can’t delete anything because it’s all vital information. (It’s not.)
Go to the studio and open the window. Make a to-do list and cross every item off.
Try to write a poem. Write a poem about trying to write a poem instead.
Buy starts at the farmer’s market to plant in your balcony planter boxes. Do not delude yourself into thinking plants that need full sun can survive in the shade.
Go to the coffeeshop and don’t look at TikTok.
Post a photo carousel to remind yourself that you did actually do a lot of things in the last month.
Buy a new camera and watch a YouTube video about all the settings. Re-familiarize yourself with the feeling of raising a viewfinder to your eyes.
Think about all of the chores you need to do. Like sorting the mail, and laundry, and sweeping off the balcony so you can actually plant the starts you bought.
Think about opening your journal for the first time in months.
Think about the kind of person you could be if you got your shit together, for real this time.
Hello loves,
It’s been a while! I am unfortunately one of those people who start every journal entry with “It’s been so long since I wrote.” I know it doesn’t really matter (especially in my journal that no one reads but me, years later) but I can’t help it. I think I’m constantly feeling guilty for the ways I keep not showing up.
Anyways. When I used to write a blogger blog, I would sometimes post a life-update after a period of absence. It really didn’t matter then, because like two people read that blog, but I was the same person back then that I am now. I thought about doing that here, but the truth is I don’t have much of a life update. Things are pretty much the same—I’m working on Poem Club, worrying about missing out on spring, obsessing over my cat, living my small life.
I have a couple really long things to share with you (One of them is actually a 4,500 word essay that’s about every job I’ve ever had), but publishing them feels daunting so instead I’m sending you this. More soon.
Unrelated things I’m loving from the real world:
R and I have been drinking a lot of spaghetts—Miller High Life with a shot of Aperol and a squeeze of lemon. (I also really like it with Campari.) It’s sort of the perfect cheap summer drink.
Goodnight Moon stamps. May Poem Club is about to be really cute.
I finally watched Past Lives (on a plane recently). I know I’m late but I feared it would destroy me, and I was correct. I was sobbing in the plane bathroom.
I’ve been watching SO much TV. It’s kind of not my fault—there’s just a lot of really good TV at the moment. Firstly, season 2 of Severance, which I’m sure a lot of you already watched. The Pitt on HBO which I loved so much. (I actually wrote a poem about it lol, maybe I’ll send that to you sometime.) R and I finished our rewatch of The Handmaid’s Tale just in time for season 6 to start. The new season of Hacks. And of course, The Last of Us season 2. DON’T call or text, I am devastated and obsessed.
Xo,
B
The other night, my husband brought me an envelope and before he even handed it to me, I said ahhhh, poem club. And he said so that’s what that is! Then he told me that it has a Goodnight Moon stamp (I already knew, since I follow you on Ig/TT) and he’d shown it to our 19yo daughter. I thought that was something you’d like to know.
Please post your essay Brittany, I for one would love to read it and I’m sure that I’m not alone x